Thursday, June 21, 2012

Thought Exercise

All righty then, I read about a tick, the Lone Star Tick (so named because of the white spot on it's back)

Turns out, this tick can cause an allergy (which can be severe) to meat. You get bit by the tick, and if you're one of the unlucky ones, you get seriously ill when you eat meat.

Now, if you ask me, this is a manifestly weird thing.

So, imagine this - think of your favorite thing: food, drink, activity - how about - going to the movies? You love going to the movies. You love the whole experience, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the press of the people in the concession lines, the whole searching in the dark for a good seat, the sound of crunching popcorn and the stepping on sticky gum, the sound of the seats flopping forward when someone gets up, all of that.

And then, one fateful day, you go on a hike with your best movie buddy and your dog, and you get bitten by the (cue ominous music) Lone Star Tick!

Two weeks later, having no symptoms, you head off to the theater, and as soon as you get in line, as soon as you smell the popcorn, you get violently sick. Next thing you know, you're lying on the dried-gum-spotted carpet, vomiting blood. An ambulance arrives, you're taken to the hospital, and within minutes, and after a cup of purified water, you're fully recovered. But you are told that you've developed a life-threatening allergy to Movie Theaters due to the bite of the Lone Star Tick.

You will never be able to enter a movie theater for the rest of your life.

And next weekend begins an Arnold Schwarzenegger marathon.

Think about it.

(In place of movie theater, insert any favorite thing.)

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